Uncle Biek

Yesterday evening I was bummed out a bit again and decided to find something to laugh about on the net, which is the ultimate source for anything fun. Should you ever feel the same need then I suggest you tune into one of the streaming video websites we have now (Google Video, YouTube, etc.) and do a search for Comedy Central.

I came across the Comedy Central Top 100 comedians and bot that was fun. At times I laughed so hard I almost dropped off my chair and that was just what the docter ordered: relax and have some fun.

I should do this more often. :-)

Over the past few weeks/months I’ve found out that it’s very hard to take a good look in the mirror and then try to see for yourself what others seem to see quite obvious: that something is wrong with you.

Sure, you can watch all you want, and see everything there is to see. But sometimes you just need to look a little bit further than just the exterior. Some troubles don’t present themselves to you on the outside, no matter if just about everyone else seems to be able to spot them a mile away and you come to a point where a quick glance in the mirror before leaving to work just won’t do anymore.

A couple of months ago, when we were having the annual evaluation at work, I found out that in general they tend to see me as a team player which, to be honest,  was a little bit of a surprise to me. Had you asked me, I would have told you that I usually don’t need anyone to do my job which to my knowledge is not exactly team minded. But they explained that my instinctive insight of how well people were feeling, and therefore functioning, was a great value to them and they really appreciated me ringing the alarm bell every now end then. Well, yes. Okay. That bit I did recognize. ;-)

So how come you’re able to spot such things when they are only marginally happening to others so much easier than when it’s so very obviously happening to yourself? Or even worse: why can’t you find out what’s wrong even if you already do know something is the matter? Both difficult, if not mind-boggling questions if you ask me, but slowly I’m finding out pieces of the answers which should shed some light on the how and why I’ve been feeling so terribly down over the past period.

I have to credit the people at my work for putting up with my erratic behavior lately because I haven’t been ‘me’ for a long long time. I almost can’t remember the day when I was at work on time, and have been oversleeping myself way more than is good for me. Another consequence of the sleeping problems I’ve been having.

Last week I had a really good chat with my manager at work because, even though she’s not always around an in general pretty busy, she too had seen that I hadn’t been good old Biek lately and wanted to know if everything was alright. The short answer was a simple ‘no’ but I wasn’t able to give her a longer one because then I just didn’t know what actually was wrong. So irritating. ‘Are you ok?’ ‘Erm, no’ ‘So what’s the problem then?’ “I don’t know …’ Hopeless.

Basically what it comes down to is that you need to take a good hard look into that mirror and you need to ask yourself how you’re doing. And you shouldn’t take that usual ‘mwoah, alright I guess’ for an answer. I’ve been trying to put the things that bother me lately down on paper over the past few days and I think/hope I found out what’s been the main problem all along, and a few minor bugs too.

So yesterday I made the first step towards a possible solution and already I think I’ve slept a bit better last night. Confessing to yourself what’s wrong and confronting it already lifted a huge load from my shoulders and immediately felt good. I could sure use a couple of good nights sleep so I’m hoping that it will be a upward spiral from now on again.

I guess what they say is true: life is funny, but not haha funny …

See you around folks.

You’ve probably heard it before too, kids who have a tough childhood grow up to be the toughest, meanest sob’s around and I guess to some extent this is true. Makes me think of that Johnny Cash song ‘a boy named Sue’ by the way … ;-)

The reason why I’m brining this up is because I’m having a little one at home too and that small creature simply must have a incredibly high level of ‘nothing gets me down’ inside. It’s just amazing to see him climbing and flying around again, almost like nothing happened.

Obviously I’m referring to my bird Zippo, who definitely suffered some sort of breakdown last week but seems to be on the better side again and almost looks like his old self.

And this wasn’t the first serious event that happened to him. When he was removed from the block just a week or so he must have been stuck between a couple of bars in his home and when Margot found him both he and his home were covered in blood. She later said to be surprised how much blood is in such a small bird anyway. But he made it through, not giving in for one second.

But when I found him lying on the bottom of his home last week I feared that he might not make it, it looked terrible to say the least. When I touched him there was almost no movement, no sound, his right wing was folded back halfway in a very strange position and he didn’t seem to have control over his right claw either.

During this past week I’ve seen him come back from that state bit by bit, seemingly increasing each day. At first he was only using his beak and left claw to climb around a bit but now he’s using everything again, and looks to be quite happy doing so.

Yesterday while I was at home he sounded like he was just his old self again, making his usual happy chirping and little sounds. He also flew around a bit and is capable of landing in a normal way again. He’s going to be just fine, I just know it.

I tell you folks, it’s one tough sob, that little one.

Last night I had a big date with my little niece again and it was fun. First of all it was the first time I got to pick her up from the day care center and together with Stevie the three of us walked home.

Then at diner we had lovely pancakes which are always a treat of course. It’s astounding how much she eats by the way, she’s almost like a bottomless pit. On the other hand who am I to talk about things like that, I’m know to sometimes stowing away for about four persons worth of good pasta on a evening so … I guess it runs in the family :-)

After diner she played around a bit while I cleaned up the war zone my sister and Stevie call ‘home’ (*grin*) and then it was time to go to bed for the little kiddo. This went as smooth as silk. First I discussed with her what we were going to do and in which order and then we carried it out exactly according to the plan. Clean as a whistle, no problems whatsoever. I did notice some jealous looks when I later told this to the returned parents, but hey, I’m uncle Biek so … ;-)

After she went to bed I put on a video (yes, the black plastic cassettes they used to sell movies on) in the VCR and began the movie Bas had recorded for me: 1941 with John Belushi and Dan Aykroyd among others. When Stevie and my sis came home I was about a third into the movie and I’m going to watch it again soon. It’s a hilarious movie, if you’re into a little slapstick humor. And lucky for me: I am!

My sister went to bed a little early, well for me anyway, and I talked a little with Stevie before going home too. That was a nice evening.

Last night I had a big date with my little niece again and it was fun. First of all it was the first time I got to pick her up from the day care center and together with Stevie the three of us walked home.

Then at diner we had lovely pancakes which are always a treat of course. It’s astounding how much she eats by the way, she’s almost like a bottomless pit. On the other hand who am I to talk about things like that, I’m know to sometimes stowing away for about four persons worth of good pasta on a evening so … I guess it runs in the family :-)

After diner she played around a bit while I cleaned up the war zone my sister and Stevie call ‘home’ (*grin*) and then it was time to go to bed for the little kiddo. This went as smooth as silk. First I discussed with her what we were going to do and in which order and then we carried it out exactly according to the plan. Clean as a whistle, no problems whatsoever. I did notice some jealous looks when I later told this to the returned parents, but hey, I’m uncle Biek so … ;-)

After she went to bed I put on a video (yes, the black plastic cassettes they used to sell movies on) in the VCR and began the movie Bas had recorded for me: 1941 with John Belushi and Dan Aykroyd among others. When Stevie and my sis came home I was about a third into the movie and I’m going to watch it again soon. It’s a hilarious movie, if you’re into a little slapstick humor. And lucky for me: I am!

My sister went to bed a little early, well for me anyway, and I talked a little with Stevie before going home too. That was a nice evening.